BDSM Etiquette

We are always happy to hear other peoples views and if we have no negative feedback on a published point of etiquette we will let it stand. If we have complaints or disagreements we will add it to our forum for open debate. Use the details on the "Contact Webmasters" page to send us a letter.

Like every other aspect of our lives, the BDSM scene has its own rules and regulations. These rules are not legally enforceable, so they are rules of etiquette.

Not knowing the rules or choosing to ignore the etiquette can lead to problems for the offender leading to removal from the current event and exclusion from future events.

Each play party or club that you attend will have its own set of rules which may over-ride some of the basics we have set out below. Please feel free to ask the club management or party host if you have any questions left unanswered by the information on the pages on this website.

If you have problems with people at a party not adhering to the rules please do not hesitate to talk to the club management or party host, they will always be available to hear your problem.

The Basic Rules.

• In all adult parties No means NO, always, no if's, no but's, no debate.
• You should also always agree a safe word before you start a scene with other guests. Attendance at BDSM events implies that you accept that use of the safe word means that any scene you are involved in will be terminated instantly.
• Cameras are not allowed into BDSM parties unless it has been agreed beforehand by all actors. Anyone found taking photos will be asked to hand over their camera so that any images can be deleted. You will probably be asked to leave the event and excluded from future events.
• Phones should not be taken to the play areas. If you are expecting an important call, please leave your telephone with a host and they will take a message for you.

General Rules of good Manners.

• Never touch other guests whips, paddles, cuffs or other toys without their permission.
• If you are watching a scene, please refrain from talking or laughing. It is considered very rude to interrupt someone elses play time. If you find the scene disturbing or distasteful please walk away without comment. Everyone has the right to enact their own fantasies. Remember other people may find your actions as disturbing as you find theirs. The rule is BE TOLERANT.
• Do not attempt to join the action without being invited. Many players are happy for you to watch, but it is very bad manners to attempt to join in the action without a specific invitation.
• Do not touch any of the players without being invited.
• Always leave players enough room to enjoy their scene.
• Submissives brought to the party are not public property. Never assume that you can take control of any sub at a party. You should only act out scenes with people you have attended with, or who have been offered to you by a Master or Mistress or where a sub has offered themselves to you.
• Some players do not liked to be watched. Those who prefer a private scene should ask to use a private room. If you are asked to leave a private room please do so without having to be asked again.
• Never stand and masturbate. The scenes are not being performed for your titillation, many players do not like to involve or witness openly sexual activity.
• Show all other guests respect and try to be tolerant of everything you see.
• No money will be exchanged for services at a party. Please keep monetary transactions for activities on other premises.
• Most venues have a zero tolerance drug policy. Anyone seen using, exchanging or selling drugs at a party will probably be reported to the authorities.
• Please remember that alcohol reduces your capacity to think clearly and can lead you to perform acts which you may not normally get involved in, or which you may regret when sober.
• Please use the bins provided to dispose of tissues, wipes, condoms etc.
• If you are likely to touch other peoples body fluids such as blood, or semen you should bring your own latex gloves and condoms.
• When you have finished using a play area, please make sure that you or your slave clean the area for the next players.
• When you have finished a scene please leave the play area so that other players may enjoy the facilities.
• Please do not use play stations as areas to sit and relax. Retire to the lounge so that the maximum use can be made of the play areas.
• Please stub out cigarettes in an ash tray, not on the floor, not in the nut bowls.
• If anything is broken please alert the staff straight away so that they can clean the area before someone injures themselves.
• Closed doors mean DO NOT ENTER. Only enter a closed room if you have been invited to do so.
• Do not follow other players around. If you want to play with someone talk to them. If the person is a sub attending with their Master or Mistress make sure you have their permission to talk to them.